Just down in the dumps today

I wish I was enjoying this life, but it looks like not one but both my interviews added up to nothing.

How can this be the first day of the rest of my life, when my meeger salary is in constant need of supplementing?  The longer I live the less of an inheritence I'll be leaving my family.
Maybe because I am menopausal, but I am tired of keeping secrets in the name of Jesus.

How do I find a new job, when my current employer is making believe she is out of business?
How do I claim self-employment, when I do not know when exactly she claims to have closed the business and when I supposedly became self-employed?

What can I say, I was so busy working to keep track of what was going on, let alone when it was happening.
Now, I fear I have prayed and worked my way into an unemployable status. If only there was a way to prove what kind of worker and person I truly am, despite the gaps in my work history.

If only the was a way to make it up to a former co-worker whom I only knew as Dan, at Lora Campe's Bedknobs & Broomstix Cleaning Service, we were strictly on first name bases.  Even odds all those nasty stories about her nasty divorce from Gary Campe were to keep us gossiping about lies and deception. When, even odds the real story was to keep Dan from filing for Workman's Composition, which happened when her sister the supervisor of the team gave this middle aged diabetic the hardest and dirtiest job as pay back for him calling off the day before. 
I wish I would have, could have spoken up before this, but at the time. My first priority was working enough hours to pay my bills on my own, so I was usually too tired to argue too tired to question too tired not to get angry about getting interrupt too often to hear myself think.
Everytime, when I was asked to remember that day, I would confenially be interrupted with questions of why would I even think of defending Dan when this same sister of the boss, Ethel Jane . . . . insisted that she saw him in my car looking for some thing to steel from me.

By the way, on a cleaning crew what happens is someone would drive the team to the work sight, since we like most cleaning companies bring our cleaning supplies with us. Unfortunately, sometimes things get forgotten in the car.
Unfortunately, I am not good at answering two completely different  questions at the same time, especially while running more on caffeine than sleep.
What is worst, even odds this confession is too late to help Dan in any way shape or form.